I'm always envious of those people who know what they want to do in life, and go for it.
I thought I knew, and when my world was turned upside down; I've found myself looking around and going "what now?" I'm lost, and I'm reminded of how lost I am. It's nearly 11:30 PM and I'm still up because I'm stressed about my job, that doesn't stress about me. I'm sick for the billionth time this year, and I can't afford another hospital stay. My job never leaves my mind (in a bad way), and it really does wear a person down.
What's a person to do?
How do we pursue our dreams but still pay our bills? When is enough, enough?
I'm distraught over the fact that I feel like I overcame so many hurdles in life, to be beaten down by people who could care less of my existence. This is not the life I wanted to lead. Something has to give, but where do I take the first step?
I have all these ideas in my mind, all this knowledge I want to share with people, yet I'm held back by where I am (just life in general).
I really should be trying to go to sleep, my immune system is already shot, but I'm so...haunted by how disgruntled I am.
Well, it is late. I'll wrap this post up another time.
Goodnight, cyberspace.
